I would like to die painlessly surrounded by my loved ones (that’s a cliché, but who wouldn’t want that?). I would like to be remembered in my strength but without sentimentality. I would like the people who have made my life worth living to laugh about my flaws (lovingly!), tell stories about my eccentricities (with affection!), and remember the writing and mentoring and curating and mothering and loving and caring I have done. I want to be cremated, with my ashes thrown as follows: 1/3 in the ocean at the Outer Banks in North Carolina, 1/3 into the ocean in So. Cal., and 1/3 buried in a plot with a headstone so my descendants can find it.