Pilar Tompkins Rivas

I developed epilepsy at the age of 19, and I have a pretty bad history of seizures, so the idea that I could die a sudden death has been with me since I was quite young. As my risk of dying is three times higher than the general population, I always imagined death as something quick, that could come at any moment. That knowledge has actually made me not afraid of living, so I try to do as much as I possibly can in this world before my time is up.  I’m not afraid of change. For me death is about change and transformation, and while I don’t want to die, the thought of it doesn’t terrify me. If not be a seizure or aneurysm, then I imagine myself dying in a car crash – something instantaneous. I don’t think too much about the funeral or my body afterwards, but I worry about my family, especially my children, mother and husband, and the grief that they would experience. I think more about trying to protect them from that grief, and how my love for them would not end with my death.